








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1627 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3904 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2307 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1191 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,663 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoySaiYan | 51% | 179 |
| #2 | Kreamy | 46% | 63 |
| #3 | bHIP! | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | shwepp | 41% | 270 |
| #5 | ITS TIME | 38% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bHIP! | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | shwepp | 41% | 270 |
| #5 | ITS TIME | 38% | 264 |
| #6 | fent cart | 38% | 253 |
| #7 | bille... | 37% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | fent cart | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ITS TIME | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | RoySaiYan | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | bille... | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 1191 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #2 | ITS TIME | 687 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | fent cart | 620 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | bille... | 351 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | RoySaiYan | 198 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | +3.95 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | Kreamy | +0.99 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | ITS TIME | +0.75 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | bHIP! | -0.04 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | fent cart | -1.28 | 40 | 44 |





