








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2007 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5693 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3287 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4863 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,709,130 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bert | 51% | 179 |
| #2 | shwepp | 50% | 187 |
| #3 | bHIP! | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | bille... | 43% | 94 |
| #5 | fent cart | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bHIP! | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | bille... | 43% | 94 |
| #5 | fent cart | 40% | 97 |
| #6 | Kreamy | 40% | 35 |
| #7 | ITS TIME | 38% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | fent cart | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | bille... | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Bert | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ITS TIME | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 731 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | ITS TIME | 287 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | fent cart | 249 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bert | 241 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | bille... | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | +5.71 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | ITS TIME | +1.25 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Kreamy | +0.99 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | fent cart | -0.64 | 40 | 41 |
| #5 | bille... | -0.98 | 35 | 46 |





