








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1307 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2171 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,156,536 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kreamy | 45% | 47 |
| #2 | RoySaiYan | 43% | 94 |
| #3 | Bert | 37% | 241 |
| #4 | shwepp | 37% | 240 |
| #5 | fent cart | 36% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RoySaiYan | 43% | 94 |
| #3 | Bert | 37% | 241 |
| #4 | shwepp | 37% | 240 |
| #5 | fent cart | 36% | 232 |
| #6 | ITS TIME | 35% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | fent cart | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ITS TIME | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bert | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | RoySaiYan | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | 1119 | 0.23 | 30 min |
| #2 | ITS TIME | 634 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | fent cart | 573 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bert | 330 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | RoySaiYan | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shwepp | +3.34 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | Kreamy | +0.90 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | ITS TIME | +0.26 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | fent cart | -1.48 | 37 | 46 |
| #5 | bille... | -1.76 | 37 | 50 |





