








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 855 | 27% |
| Smokes | 972 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,827 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2071 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | pez | 80% | 35 |
| #3 | villesoder | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | fredde | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | Floppyh | 65% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pez | 80% | 35 |
| #3 | villesoder | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | fredde | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | Floppyh | 65% | 46 |
| #6 | Advokaten | 63% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villesoder | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Advokaten | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | pez | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Floppyh | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | zazzel | 2 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppyh | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | pez | 103 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | zazzel | 88 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #4 | villesoder | 67 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | fredde | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | +6.15 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | fredde | +4.62 | 71 | 49 |
| #3 | pez | +3.82 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | Floppyh | +3.68 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Pickadollen301 | +3.59 | 64 | 38 |





