








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 600 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6546 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4407 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3531 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,994,912 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 86% | 87 |
| #2 | dicky__ | AGREED | 70% | 227 |
| #3 | kapi | 67% | 147 |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | fredde | 64% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dicky__ | AGREED | 70% | 227 |
| #3 | kapi | 67% | 147 |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | fredde | 64% | 208 |
| #6 | villesoder | 62% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredde | 32 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | dicky__ | AGREED | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Pickadollen301 | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | kapi | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | villesoder | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapi | 318 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | fredde | 266 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | dicky__ | AGREED | 255 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | zazzel | 220 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | villesoder | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | +4.64 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | kapi | +2.17 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Floppyh | +2.04 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | +1.94 | 62 | 47 |
| #5 | dicky__ | AGREED | +0.72 | 57 | 55 |





