








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3390 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1540 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2199 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1742 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,905,738 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3755 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1280x960 | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | zazzel | 87% | 45 |
| #3 | Nuuskmõmmik | 86% | 21 |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | 80% | 35 |
| #5 | villesoder | 78% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickadollen301 | 16 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | dicky__ | AGREED | 15 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | fredde | 13 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | hetsåhärdå | 10 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Advokaten | 8 | 0.0086 |





