










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 717 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,882,761 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 84% | 80 |
| #2 | Floppyh | 73% | 44 |
| #3 | dicky__ | AGREED | 68% | 85 |
| #4 | fredde | 66% | 94 |
| #5 | Pickadollen301 | 63% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fredde | 66% | 94 |
| #5 | Pickadollen301 | 63% | 35 |
| #6 | villesoder | 58% | 95 |
| #7 | pez | 57% | 49 |
| #8 | Icke | 54% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredde | 25 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Pickadollen301 | 9 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Icke | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | zazzel | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | villesoder | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 299 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | fredde | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | dicky__ | AGREED | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | pez | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | villesoder | 115 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | +6.34 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | Floppyh | +4.28 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | fredde | +3.35 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | +3.12 | 60 | 35 |
| #5 | pez | +2.15 | 78 | 57 |





