








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1937 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1004 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,992 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | 56% | 101 |
| #2 | Jostrq | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Hobert Rabeck | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Mineorbit | 50% | 101 |
| #5 | jkl | 49% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | jkl | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Mineorbit | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Jostrq | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Hobert Rabeck | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | 665 | 0.34 | 18 min |
| #2 | Hobert Rabeck | 499 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | jkl | 463 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | Retire_SuPlEx | 266 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mineorbit | 239 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | +4.05 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | ✪DocterD97 | +2.43 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | jkl | +1.41 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | RichY | +1.02 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | Jostrq | +0.27 | 63 | 47 |





