








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1935 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2215 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1746 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,353 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobert Rabeck | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | RichY | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | bR | 48% | 174 |
| #4 | jkl | 44% | 188 |
| #5 | ✪DocterD97 | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | jkl | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | RichY | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Hobert Rabeck | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ✪DocterD97 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | 1135 | 0.34 | 32 min |
| #2 | jkl | 766 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | Hobert Rabeck | 456 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #4 | RichY | 310 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Retire_SuPlEx | 218 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bR | +4.14 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪DocterD97 | +1.11 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | jkl | +0.87 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | RichY | -0.43 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | Hobert Rabeck | -1.14 | 60 | 57 |





