








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 970 | 37% |
| Smokes | 607 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 798 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,637 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 55% | 55 |
| #9 | Matty | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | iDrDuck | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | HyperE141 | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | Abs0luTioN | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy the Shifting Spanner | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Matty | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | TheSpottedHyena | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | kat | 2 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | HyperE141 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kat | +5.43 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | Feel1ngs | +3.18 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | Matty | +2.06 | 57 | 54 |
| #4 | TheSpottedHyena | +1.74 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | HyperE141 | +0.51 | 50 | 63 |





