








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9095 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9818 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11115 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9702 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,884,308 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Substance <3 | 50% | 84 |
| #2 | Mnu. | 49% | 249 |
| #3 | ☣ⓏⓘⒼⒼⓨ™☣127 | 46% | 109 |
| #4 | UNLUX | 44% | 155 |
| #5 | Microsoft Powerpoint | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Substance <3 | 50% | 84 |
| #2 | Mnu. | 49% | 249 |
| #3 | ☣ⓏⓘⒼⒼⓨ™☣127 | 46% | 109 |
| #4 | UNLUX | 44% | 155 |
| #5 | Microsoft Powerpoint | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mnu. | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ☣ⓏⓘⒼⒼⓨ™☣127 | 17 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Microsoft Powerpoint | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | UNLUX | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Substance <3 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNLUX | 675 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mnu. | 416 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | ☣ⓏⓘⒼⒼⓨ™☣127 | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Substance <3 | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Microsoft Powerpoint | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNLUX | +2.69 | 43 | 63 |
| #2 | Microsoft Powerpoint | +0.47 | 31 | 53 |
| #3 | Twitch - Maystarsxo | +0.05 | 32 | 59 |
| #4 | Mnu. | -0.67 | 25 | 44 |
| #5 | Substance <3 | -0.89 | 17 | 62 |





