








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1862 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




389 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 106,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45232 | 42% |
| Smokes | 23770 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 18782 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 18991 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,387 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSpottedHyena | 66% | 481 |
| #2 | Aykie | 65% | 337 |
| #3 | pass the awp | 64% | 765 |
| #4 | O-Blivius | 62% | 127 |
| #5 | iDrDuck | 60% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Not Jackoffskie^-^ ? | 59% | 138 |
| #7 | HyperE141 | 56% | 389 |
| #8 | Matty | 56% | 570 |
| #9 | Kweezy_ZA | 53% | 330 |
| #10 | R3no | 48% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 156 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | pass the awp | 103 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | iDrDuck | 48 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | HyperE141 | 38 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Kweezy_ZA | 37 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperE141 | 2826 | 0.34 | 60 min |
| #2 | TheSpottedHyena | 1325 | 0.12 | 34 min |
| #3 | Kweezy_ZA | 1213 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #4 | Matty | 963 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #5 | Not Jackoffskie^-^ ? | 758 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aykie | +3.90 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | O-Blivius | +3.40 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | pass the awp | +3.17 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | Kweezy_ZA | +1.34 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | TheSpottedHyena | +1.31 | 74 | 62 |





