








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 720 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6520 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8846 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7966 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7600 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,313,608 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 777 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | WWWMMMTTTWWWMMMTTTWWWW | 47% | 433 |
| #14 | LoW | 47% | 68 |
| #15 | Kintaro Oe | 45% | 95 |
| #16 | Der Astronaut | 45% | 51 |
| #17 | Isolde Makacken | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nhiels | 836 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | Ayran Man | 730 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #3 | WWWMMMTTTWWWMMMTTTWWWW | 702 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #4 | Timm | 421 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #5 | n ♿;. | 292 | 0.14 | 8 min |





