








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3089 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3714 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5870 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3887 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,646 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atomic | 18 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Navigator Brynhildi | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | 0 Fax ♿ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Nhiels | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | WWWMMMTTTWWWMMMTTTWWWW | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atomic | 260 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nhiels | 249 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | 0 Fax ♿ | 181 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | WWWMMMTTTWWWMMMTTTWWWW | 167 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Navigator Brynhildi | 164 | 0.09 | 3 min |





