








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3813 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3171 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1813 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2698 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,521 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweeg ;) | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | ssooroaro | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 62% | 87 |
| #4 | Killakon | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Rally | 57% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Oeht | 56% | 195 |
| #8 | Willie smalls | 54% | 74 |
| #9 | grynnas | 52% | 44 |
| #10 | Cawke | 52% | 23 |
| #11 | Mandela | 51% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandela | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Oeht | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Willie smalls | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | gLADzERA | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gLADzERA | 408 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mandela | 408 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Oeht | 236 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Willie smalls | 196 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 189 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssooroaro | +2.14 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | +2.10 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Oeht | +1.97 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | Benjamin Ali | +0.86 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Sweeg ;) | +0.57 | 68 | 73 |





