








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1440 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3087 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1794 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2625 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,279 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cawke | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Mandela | 61% | 157 |
| #3 | Oeht | 60% | 124 |
| #4 | grynnas | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 58% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Willie smalls | 57% | 157 |
| #9 | Sweeg ;) | 57% | 46 |
| #10 | Killakon | 49% | 37 |
| #11 | Mike123 Fog | 46% | 35 |
| #12 | Hinken | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willie smalls | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Mandela | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Oeht | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Benjamin Ali | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | gLADzERA | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandela | 456 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 428 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | gLADzERA | 402 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | Willie smalls | 402 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Benjamin Ali | 246 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oeht | +2.62 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | +2.54 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Benjamin Ali | +0.47 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | gLADzERA | +0.36 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Sweeg ;) | -0.33 | 58 | 69 |





