








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 508 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 204 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4481 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6829 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3359 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5074 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,865,722 of utility $275 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssooroaro | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | Hinken | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Rally | 58% | 194 |
| #4 | Mike123 Fog | 58% | 85 |
| #5 | Sweeg ;) | 57% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Oeht | 55% | 361 |
| #10 | Willie smalls | 54% | 362 |
| #11 | Killakon | 53% | 95 |
| #12 | Mandela | 51% | 356 |
| #13 | grynnas | 50% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandela | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Benjamin Ali | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Oeht | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Willie smalls | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 5 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandela | 1102 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | 886 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #3 | Willie smalls | 886 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #4 | Benjamin Ali | 723 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #5 | Oeht | 405 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | +2.60 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Oeht | +2.11 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | ssooroaro | +1.79 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | Benjamin Ali | +0.46 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | gLADzERA | +0.18 | 74 | 63 |





