








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 462 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4555 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4614 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5980 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5241 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,293,271 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benjamin Ali | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | Hinken | 61% | 82 |
| #3 | ssooroaro | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Sweeg ;) | 59% | 190 |
| #5 | Mike123 Fog | 59% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mandela | 54% | 283 |
| #11 | Willie smalls | 54% | 338 |
| #12 | Killakon | 53% | 91 |
| #13 | grynnas | 51% | 92 |
| #14 | Cawke | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandela | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Mike123 Fog | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Willie smalls | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Sweeg ;) | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Oeht | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willie smalls | 846 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #2 | Mandela | 822 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #3 | gLADzERA | 621 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #4 | Sweeg ;) | 429 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Mike123 Fog | 350 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Fabzter ♥ | +2.49 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Oeht | +1.35 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | ssooroaro | +1.14 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | Sweeg ;) | +0.76 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | gLADzERA | +0.08 | 74 | 63 |





