








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2284 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2112 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,427 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jüffe | 27% | 62 |
| #6 | esa nahka | 23% | 105 |
| #7 | . Thoro. | 20% | 61 |
| #8 | jyrtti . | 19% | 36 |
| #9 | aspect999 | 17% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dihzaist | 56 | 0.0334 |
| #2 | aspect999 | 42 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | esa nahka | 29 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | . Thoro. | 20 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | Jüffe | 19 | 0.0162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aspect999 | 806 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dihzaist | 539 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #3 | esa nahka | 451 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | jyrtti . | 173 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jüffe | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |





