








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 445 matches | ||
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20710 | 61% |
| Smokes | 3709 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3289 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 6481 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,705,321 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONESAW | 50% | 255 |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 49% | 381 |
| #3 | Joker8D | 48% | 349 |
| #4 | HomelessJedi | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | VB | 45% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Miles Morales | 49% | 381 |
| #3 | Joker8D | 48% | 349 |
| #4 | HomelessJedi | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | VB | 45% | 134 |
| #6 | WaiYuChiTing | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker8D | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | HomelessJedi | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | BONESAW | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | VB | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miles Morales | 1292 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | Joker8D | 370 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | BONESAW | 287 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | HomelessJedi | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | VB | 35 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | +2.09 | 60 | 62 |
| #2 | BONESAW | +1.26 | 47 | 56 |
| #3 | Joker8D | +0.25 | 54 | 47 |
| #4 | Miles Morales | +0.06 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | WaiYuChiTing | -0.99 | 47 | 36 |





