








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Wingman | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3855 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1077 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 4921 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3365 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,709 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | 48% | 349 |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 48% | 170 |
| #3 | BONESAW | 45% | 80 |
| #4 | HomelessJedi | 39% | 56 |
| #5 | VB | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | 1714 | 0.24 | 54 min |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 557 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | LilJoker | 98 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | BONESAW | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mikeonthemic | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | +1.92 | 62 | 61 |
| #2 | Joker8D | +1.10 | 50 | 48 |
| #3 | BONESAW | +0.15 | 41 | 56 |
| #4 | Miles Morales | -0.24 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | VB | -3.29 | 30 | 32 |





