








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 139 | 7% |
| Smokes | 325 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,020 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steven with a V | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | the machine | 48% | 114 |
| #4 | Joker8D | 39% | 56 |
| #5 | VB | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Joker8D | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Miles Morales | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Flaccid Snake | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Steven with a V | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the machine | 612 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | Miles Morales | 74 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Joker8D | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Steven with a V | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Flaccid Snake | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steven with a V | +3.89 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | the machine | +2.83 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | Miles Morales | +1.42 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Joker8D | +0.12 | 47 | 47 |
| #5 | WaiYuChiTing | -0.80 | 36 | 37 |





