








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 546 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13669 | 46% |
| Smokes | 8031 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3419 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4569 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,036,177 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JooSi | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | The Wok Damage | 56% | 102 |
| #3 | SayNoMore | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | GuM | 53% | 182 |
| #5 | ♛ | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | zeal | 45% | 44 |
| #11 | Bud.and.Beagle | 45% | 110 |
| #12 | dino | 45% | 84 |
| #13 | KOOSTA | 45% | 62 |
| #14 | nuts666 | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bot frag | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | S̶ᴜ̶ʀ̶ᴘ̶ʟ̶ᴜ̶s̶ ⭕⃤ | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | SnoopMeow | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | GuM | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | The Wok Damage | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bot frag | 1774 | 0.14 | 42 min |
| #2 | SnoopMeow | 1265 | 0.27 | 30 min |
| #3 | GuM | 1260 | 0.34 | 32 min |
| #4 | Bud.and.Beagle | 568 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #5 | ♛ | 542 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JooSi | +7.08 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | GuM | +4.30 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | zeal | +4.01 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | ♛ | +3.08 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | dino | +3.00 | 71 | 76 |





