










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 982 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 547 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6884 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9803 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5114 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6501 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,407,771 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wok Damage | 60% | 120 |
| #2 | GuM | 58% | 238 |
| #3 | SayNoMore | 57% | 69 |
| #4 | zeal | 55% | 84 |
| #5 | ♛ | 53% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | nuts666 | 46% | 123 |
| #12 | dino | 46% | 95 |
| #13 | Bud.and.Beagle | 46% | 108 |
| #14 | Nuby | 46% | 50 |
| #15 | King | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 淺淺爱吃McFlurry™ | 20 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | S̶ᴜ̶ʀ̶ᴘ̶ʟ̶ᴜ̶s̶ ⭕⃤ | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | SnoopMeow | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | GuM | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Arnab | 8 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 淺淺爱吃McFlurry™ | 4480 | 0.36 | 99 min |
| #2 | SnoopMeow | 1649 | 0.27 | 40 min |
| #3 | GuM | 1624 | 0.34 | 42 min |
| #4 | ♛ | 657 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #5 | Bud.and.Beagle | 530 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuM | +4.53 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | zeal | +3.58 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | ♛ | +2.96 | 70 | 77 |
| #4 | dino | +2.52 | 69 | 78 |
| #5 | bot frag | +1.46 | 72 | 67 |





