








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3514 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1098 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2040 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,747 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Your Stepdad | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Flynn | 47% | 58 |
| #11 | Nerbs | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Twiigzz | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | .:. | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flynn | 224 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | troy | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | mild | 116 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sossi | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nerbs | 67 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mild | +3.84 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | DATASSPHAT | +3.46 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | troy | +3.23 | 91 | 63 |
| #4 | Flynn | +2.42 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Your Stepdad | +1.75 | 86 | 49 |





