








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3808 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4017 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5413 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3908 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,078 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | 59% | 162 |
| #2 | probably sweating | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | .:. | 53% | 173 |
| #4 | Cady | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Pablo | 50% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cady | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Pablo | 50% | 90 |
| #6 | Flynn | 49% | 115 |
| #7 | Sossi | 46% | 229 |
| #8 | GrASS | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .:. | 27 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Billy | 21 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Sossi | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Flynn | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Pablo | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | 753 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Flynn | 505 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sossi | 399 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | .:. | 290 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | probably sweating | 208 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | +7.37 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | probably sweating | +7.20 | 88 | 71 |
| #3 | Flynn | +4.34 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Cady | -0.08 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | .:. | -0.71 | 74 | 41 |





