








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3910 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3995 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,572 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DATASSPHAT | 63% | 60 |
| #2 | mild | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Hossinator | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Cj979 | 47% | 126 |
| #5 | Seems | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Militant | 44% | 150 |
| #8 | Swel | 42% | 55 |
| #9 | Twiigzz | 41% | 175 |
| #10 | Your Stepdad | 36% | 28 |
| #11 | Rez | 34% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DATASSPHAT | 15 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Twiigzz | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Militant | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Cj979 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Rez | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cj979 | 582 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Militant | 580 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | Twiigzz | 552 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Rez | 292 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | DATASSPHAT | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | troy | +2.83 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | mild | +1.63 | 88 | 72 |
| #3 | Hossinator | +1.41 | 90 | 68 |
| #4 | Your Stepdad | +1.32 | 87 | 49 |
| #5 | DATASSPHAT | +0.90 | 83 | 53 |





