








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3551 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3749 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3807 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2942 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,700 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Militant | 44% | 142 |
| #8 | Swel | 43% | 54 |
| #9 | Twiigzz | 42% | 166 |
| #10 | Your Stepdad | 37% | 27 |
| #11 | Rez | 34% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DATASSPHAT | 15 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Twiigzz | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Militant | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Cj979 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Rez | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cj979 | 548 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Militant | 543 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Twiigzz | 525 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Rez | 279 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | DATASSPHAT | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | troy | +2.77 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | mild | +1.63 | 88 | 72 |
| #3 | Your Stepdad | +1.49 | 87 | 48 |
| #4 | Hossinator | +1.41 | 90 | 68 |
| #5 | DATASSPHAT | +0.90 | 83 | 53 |





