








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 181 | 32% |
| Smokes | 244 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 61 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,674 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicussy | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Weolson | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Chico_stick | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 27% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chico_stick | 11 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Alpha Coda | 5 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Chicussy | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Chico_stick | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Weolson | 33 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Alpha Coda | 30 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chicussy | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicussy | +8.51 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Chico_stick | +6.98 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | +5.63 | 78 | 34 |
| #4 | Weolson | +1.64 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | -2.87 | 25 | 47 |





