








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 341 | 20% |
| Smokes | 608 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,652 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bomboclaat gaming | 40% | 48 |
| #9 | revenge killer | 37% | 41 |
| #10 | 𐂃 | 27% | 11 |
| #11 | picklepower24 | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | Bob | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | picklepower24 | 5 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | Jek | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Bob | 3 | 0.0291 |
| #4 | Rivers Cuomo | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | sppmorris | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 250 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 124 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rivers Cuomo | 75 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | picklepower24 | 60 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | zipf | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jek | +2.85 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | venmar | +0.78 | 79 | 35 |
| #3 | picklepower24 | +0.48 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | bomboclaat gaming | +0.24 | 29 | 71 |
| #5 | 𐂃 | +0.22 | 77 | 50 |





