








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1223 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1045 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,773 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reamus | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ohms | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Mythical_FnS_ | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Goosie Melon | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | DotZ. | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Eisbär | 41% | 29 |
| #10 | KLB | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | finger | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | rxndy | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | poogs | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwimweapo | 20 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | Eisbär | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | DotZ. | 7 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | reamus | 5 | 0.0314 |
| #5 | Say_Hey | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwimweapo | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eisbär | 105 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | rxndy | 63 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Say_Hey | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kenn | 48 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurT1e | +2.73 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | rxndy | +2.72 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Gwimweapo | +2.05 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | reamus | +2.00 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | Eisbär | +1.93 | 81 | 65 |





