








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1732 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2843 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2612 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,257 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FΛDΣD | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Mr. Potato Aim | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Arch3r | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | itz_Sic | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Netscape | 57% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | dabearSHARK | 52% | 42 |
| #11 | Dustman | 52% | 104 |
| #12 | PaPa VaC | 50% | 18 |
| #13 | rosebud | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | Lost | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dustman | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Django NA>EU | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Dusty | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Netscape | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | 1006 | 0.27 | 30 min |
| #2 | Dustman | 398 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Django NA>EU | 176 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | itz_Sic | 133 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | FΛDΣD | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | +3.54 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | Django NA>EU | +3.29 | 71 | 81 |
| #3 | Mr. Potato Aim | +2.70 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | Arch3r | +2.30 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | Dusty | +1.54 | 79 | 49 |





