








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2236 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1737 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3110 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,424 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itz_Sic | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | 59% | 101 |
| #3 | Arch3r | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Rebels | 57% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | n0MAD | 48% | 27 |
| #17 | JachPot | 48% | 25 |
| #18 | mattybur | 48% | 25 |
| #19 | Royo | 45% | 20 |
| #20 | Jmb0 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | JachPot | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Dustman | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jmb0 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | 490 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Dustman | 379 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Noyuh | 233 | 0.53 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mr. Potato Aim | 217 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 200 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᏁᎧᎮᏋ | +3.29 | 81 | 81 |
| #2 | Mr. Potato Aim | +2.42 | 92 | 69 |
| #3 | Arch3r | +1.89 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | murf | +1.86 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Senpai Notice Me | +1.04 | 70 | 74 |





