








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 259 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2652 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2352 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 654 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,420 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uadfb75t6hst | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | hina | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | spotify premium | 52% | 149 |
| #4 | ダンツフレーム | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 49% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 49% | 258 |
| #6 | Godot | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | 啟動鳥啟動了 | 44% | 94 |
| #8 | MANBO | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 38% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ダンツフレーム | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | spotify premium | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | 啟動鳥啟動了 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ダンツフレーム | 294 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | 啟動鳥啟動了 | 275 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 150 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | hina | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Godot | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hina | +3.86 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Godot | +3.56 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | ラプラス・ダークネス | +1.90 | 62 | 40 |
| #4 | 啟動鳥啟動了 | +1.07 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | ダンツフレーム | +1.04 | 47 | 56 |





