








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3187 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4512 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4114 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,165,796 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hina | 54% | 181 |
| #2 | spotify premium | 51% | 289 |
| #3 | ダイワスカーレット | 50% | 185 |
| #4 | Godot | 50% | 171 |
| #5 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 49% | 538 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Godot | 50% | 171 |
| #5 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 49% | 538 |
| #6 | uadfb75t6hst | 48% | 183 |
| #7 | MANBO | 44% | 107 |
| #8 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 41% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 33 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | uadfb75t6hst | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | spotify premium | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ダイワスカーレット | 10 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hina | 425 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Godot | 378 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 325 | 0.03 | 10 min |
| #4 | spotify premium | 195 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | uadfb75t6hst | 172 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godot | +3.43 | 67 | 46 |
| #2 | hina | +2.95 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | ラプラス・ダークネス | +2.04 | 61 | 37 |
| #4 | MANBO | +1.74 | 56 | 39 |
| #5 | ダンツフレーム | +0.57 | 44 | 51 |





