








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 837 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1506 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1527 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,200 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | OG LapsiSotilas | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | iNeed2p | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Niles | 47% | 101 |
| #5 | LeWa | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | iNeed2p | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Niles | 47% | 101 |
| #5 | LeWa | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Mimmilehmä | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Look at my lawyer dawg | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeWa | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Tim Cheese | 6 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Mimmilehmä | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | OG LapsiSotilas | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | iNeed2p | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeWa | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | OG LapsiSotilas | 117 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tim Cheese | 100 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | Niles | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mimmilehmä | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | +2.01 | 61 | 24 |
| #2 | Ropsuw | +1.09 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | Niles | +0.52 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | LeWa | -0.84 | 47 | 59 |
| #5 | Look at my lawyer dawg | -2.16 | 62 | 44 |





