








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2243 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1553 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2334 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1842 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,921 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | 53% | 79 |
| #2 | Cookie` | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Niles | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | LeWa | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Niles | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | LeWa | 46% | 118 |
| #6 | Ropsuw | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | ves | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | 45 | 0.0297 |
| #2 | LeWa | 38 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 31 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Cookie` | 23 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | ves | 12 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeWa | 475 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | OG LapsiSotilas | 428 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cookie` | 332 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Tim Cheese | 281 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | ves | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie` | +3.13 | 57 | 75 |
| #2 | Niles | +3.04 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | Ropsuw | +2.64 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | Tim Cheese | +1.79 | 64 | 27 |
| #5 | ves | +0.97 | 41 | 57 |





