










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2079 | 24% |
| Smokes | 915 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3220 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2318 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,207 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ropsuw | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Niles | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | LeWa | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | Tim Cheese | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Mimmilehmä | 49% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tim Cheese | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | Mimmilehmä | 49% | 144 |
| #6 | Cookie` | 49% | 134 |
| #7 | ves | 40% | 68 |
| #8 | Look at my lawyer dawg | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mimmilehmä | 61 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | Tim Cheese | 45 | 0.0276 |
| #3 | LeWa | 39 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | Cookie` | 27 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | ves | 18 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie` | 561 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | LeWa | 553 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Mimmilehmä | 463 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tim Cheese | 357 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | ves | 197 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ropsuw | +3.27 | 65 | 52 |
| #2 | Cookie` | +2.73 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Tim Cheese | +1.97 | 64 | 26 |
| #4 | Niles | +1.73 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | ves | +1.07 | 41 | 54 |





