








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2870 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2567 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2745 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,062 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie` | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | Tim Cheese | 54% | 110 |
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | ves | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Ropsuw | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ves | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Ropsuw | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Mimmilehmä | 46% | 118 |
| #7 | Look at my lawyer dawg | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | Niles | 44% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | 68 | 0.0319 |
| #2 | Mimmilehmä | 44 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Cookie` | 13 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | ves | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim Cheese | 468 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mimmilehmä | 371 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | OG LapsiSotilas | 359 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | ves | 213 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cookie` | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie` | +2.99 | 61 | 75 |
| #2 | Ropsuw | +2.91 | 64 | 55 |
| #3 | Tim Cheese | +1.75 | 66 | 25 |
| #4 | Niles | +1.45 | 62 | 45 |
| #5 | ves | +1.11 | 42 | 58 |





