








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1222 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3268 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2699 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,354,557 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Er Coyote | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | ingwee | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Pedro Pichapiedra | 51% | 95 |
| #4 | IVIP0WER ツ | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | Blaackthoven | 50% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | JESUNA | 46% | 134 |
| #10 | ruben_barnes | 45% | 77 |
| #11 | Er Panda | 43% | 69 |
| #12 | Kerrick Onabo | 42% | 48 |
| #13 | ✨✠Morux@✠✨ | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CMR☣ | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | JESUNA | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Blaackthoven | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Pedro Pichapiedra | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | IVIP0WER ツ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ingwee | +11.72 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | Er Coyote | +2.73 | 62 | 46 |
| #3 | Pedro Pichapiedra | +2.05 | 59 | 51 |
| #4 | Er Panda | +0.37 | 52 | 43 |
| #5 | ✨✠Morux@✠✨ | +0.21 | 37 | 66 |





