








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2925 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2732 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2764 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2674 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,710 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lo0fer | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | ♕ Semmy | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Fozzy | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | ECKS | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ECKS | 49% | 74 |
| #6 | bran⛟ | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Sam | 42% | 86 |
| #8 | P1nki | 41% | 94 |
| #9 | Neil | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bran⛟ | 10 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Sam | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | P1nki | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ECKS | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | lo0fer | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 212 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | P1nki | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sam | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | lo0fer | 116 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | bran⛟ | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lo0fer | +3.89 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | Danny Is Onetap! | +2.54 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | ♕ Semmy | +1.83 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | ECKS | +1.15 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | P1nki | +0.82 | 73 | 45 |





