








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2936 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2171 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2219 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1149 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,612 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mild | 55% | 69 |
| #2 | ballen ♡ capuchin | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Seems | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Hawaiian | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Your Stepdad | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Militant | 43% | 155 |
| #9 | gloink | 42% | 64 |
| #10 | DATASSPHAT | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | troy | 41% | 175 |
| #12 | bauerkc | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawaiian | 36 | 0.0297 |
| #2 | troy | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | t1zz | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | DATASSPHAT | 8 | 0.0219 |
| #5 | Militant | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Militant | 629 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Cj979 | 547 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | troy | 486 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | mild | 284 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | t1zz | 155 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mild | +4.17 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | troy | +2.89 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | Your Stepdad | +2.61 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | DATASSPHAT | +0.59 | 89 | 59 |
| #5 | Twiigzz | +0.18 | 85 | 52 |





