








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1101 | 25% |
| Smokes | 935 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1261 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,752 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | maninapot | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | mild | 53% | 75 |
| #4 | Hawaiian | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Twiigzz | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Twiigzz | 48% | 61 |
| #6 | Your Stepdad | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | DATASSPHAT | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Swinda | 40% | 35 |
| #9 | bauerkc | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawaiian | 46 | 0.0298 |
| #2 | Twiigzz | 13 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | mild | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Swinda | 7 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | BB | 5 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mild | 311 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Twiigzz | 196 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Swinda | 145 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | BB | 133 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | bauerkc | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mild | +5.19 | 94 | 69 |
| #2 | DATASSPHAT | +3.73 | 94 | 60 |
| #3 | BB | +3.18 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Your Stepdad | +2.33 | 81 | 47 |
| #5 | Twiigzz | +0.14 | 84 | 51 |





