








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2352 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2519 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3195 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,572 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | 53% | 167 |
| #2 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | 51% | 88 |
| #3 | SmirHoF^ | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | PartyKloVN | 48% | 101 |
| #5 | KGaard | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KGaard | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | DJdal | 45% | 135 |
| #7 | Breinholt | 44% | 193 |
| #8 | Dennis sg'u da | 43% | 153 |
| #9 | Dehlendorff | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJdal | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Dennis sg'u da | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Breinholt | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | 1smand | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | PartyKloVN | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | 601 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Breinholt | 510 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | DJdal | 306 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | 284 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | 262 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | +4.60 | 82 | 79 |
| #2 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | +2.48 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | KGaard | +2.03 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | DJdal | +1.10 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | -1.25 | 41 | 66 |





