








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3459 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4700 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3191 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4411 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,455,621 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmirHoF^ | 54% | 63 |
| #2 | KGaard | 53% | 143 |
| #3 | 1smand | 53% | 205 |
| #4 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | 52% | 189 |
| #5 | DJdal | 49% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Try_M3 | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | PartyKloVN | 47% | 117 |
| #8 | Dehlendorff | 45% | 53 |
| #9 | Dennis sg'u da | 45% | 179 |
| #10 | Bigmikelarry | 44% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJdal | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | PartyKloVN | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Bigmikelarry | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | 1smand | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | KGaard | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | 717 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | 547 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | KGaard | 452 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | DJdal | 447 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | 302 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | +4.13 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | +2.30 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | KGaard | +1.56 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | DJdal | +0.85 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | PartyKloVN | -0.76 | 48 | 67 |





