








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 453 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7258 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5807 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5772 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5431 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,838 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KGaard | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | 1smand | 60% | 112 |
| #3 | PartyKloVN | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Breinholt | 52% | 189 |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | 51% | 84 |
| #6 | Bigmikelarry | 51% | 88 |
| #7 | DJdal | 51% | 90 |
| #8 | SmirHoF^ | 49% | 61 |
| #9 | Try_M3 | 39% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Try_M3 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Dennis sg'u da | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Breinholt | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | 1smand | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | SmirHoF^ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breinholt | 436 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | 1smand | 387 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | DJdal | 225 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Try_M3 | 218 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | 156 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1smand | +4.41 | 81 | 81 |
| #2 | HASHIRAMA SENJU | +2.05 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | KGaard | +1.87 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | DJdal | +0.36 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Dennis sg'u da | -1.57 | 36 | 64 |





