










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,593 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 868 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1403 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,172 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ibaπ― | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | Nisse | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | MF DOOM | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Teddster | 68% | 41 |
| #5 | isak | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | HaLLbERG^^ | 44% | 63 |
| #11 | virre | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | Nelle | 39% | 18 |
| #13 | 320master | 31% | 26 |
| #14 | phyx | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaLLbERG^^ | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | 320master | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | phyx | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | virre | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Saint | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaLLbERG^^ | 164 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Saint | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | isak | 113 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | !β§β§Doxhana | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Teddster | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ibaπ― | +4.52 | 77 | 71 |
| #2 | HaLLbERG^^ | +3.03 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | phyx | +2.94 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | Γlsaan | +2.76 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Teddster | +2.49 | 64 | 62 |





