








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1091 | 31% |
| Smokes | 864 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 865 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,043 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tumpzu | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Team pepeja | 100% | 13 |
| #3 | Jarza | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | roberto | 68% | 71 |
| #5 | Loikkis #içinSevda! | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jarza | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | roberto | 68% | 71 |
| #5 | Loikkis #içinSevda! | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | ✪DON | 61% | 23 |
| #7 | Godsane | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Team pepeja | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Tumpzu | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto | 211 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Godsane | 192 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jarza | 62 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tumpzu | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪DON | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tumpzu | +5.34 | 72 | 81 |
| #2 | roberto | +3.09 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | Team pepeja | +2.43 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Jarza | +1.82 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Godsane | +0.18 | 84 | 52 |





