








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3636 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4615 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4152 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3185 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,754 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿_Niksu_♿ | 56% | 72 |
| #2 | cherno | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | maunoplease | 52% | 94 |
| #4 | Kassu | 52% | 85 |
| #5 | Marjut (nykäri) | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Marjut (nykäri) | 51% | 59 |
| #6 | T1K1J | 49% | 95 |
| #7 | Hulpuka | 49% | 90 |
| #8 | miltsu<3 | 47% | 193 |
| #9 | MarZaa | 40% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarZaa | 17 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Hulpuka | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kassu | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | maunoplease | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | miltsu<3 | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarZaa | 688 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | miltsu<3 | 481 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kassu | 364 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Hulpuka | 330 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | T1K1J | 277 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassu | +2.01 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | MarZaa | +1.79 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Hulpuka | +1.32 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | ♿_Niksu_♿ | +0.93 | 86 | 40 |
| #5 | cherno | +0.51 | 64 | 56 |





