








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4178 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4422 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3824 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2799 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,568 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irwin | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | cherno | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | ♿_Niksu_♿ | 49% | 81 |
| #4 | Iso-E | 47% | 193 |
| #5 | Marjut (nykäri) | 45% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iso-E | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | MarZaa | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Marjut (nykäri) | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Irwin | 7 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | cherno | 6 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarZaa | 365 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Iso-E | 323 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | T1K1J | 257 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kassu | 143 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Marjut (nykäri) | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cherno | +3.20 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Kassu | +2.27 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | MarZaa | +2.13 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Irwin | +2.07 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | ♿_Niksu_♿ | +1.96 | 87 | 37 |





