








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4243 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4885 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2232 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4250 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,606 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Swoffmiester | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Cronus | 69% | 75 |
| #4 | Ryder5k | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | WeShall | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Swoffmiester | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Cronus | 69% | 75 |
| #4 | Ryder5k | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | WeShall | 51% | 59 |
| #6 | nightingale | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeShall | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Cronus | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | nightingale | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Swoffmiester | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cronus | 225 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ryder5k | 152 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 122 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | WeShall | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Swoffmiester | 92 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0ngBarrel | +6.64 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | Swoffmiester | +1.14 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | +0.43 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Cronus | -0.59 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Ryder5k | -1.28 | 66 | 66 |





